*The pages of her diary*
Dear diary ,
Life a few days after twelfth …
Boards were not the hardest part of my life the hangover people had after my result came out was
Seriously you have calls coming from the farthest corners of the country from people you don’t even know but who claim to be your relatives.. its similar to the craziest part of going to weddings someone comes and hugs and says –
Pehchana mujhe jab Ap chote se the tab maine apko godi uthaya tha..ab toh kitne bade hogye
(Do you recognize me , when you were a baby I held you in my arms . Now you’ve grown up)
I end up looking at them like – err. Not found .
Anyway so they call you ask you the marks the college you are trying in, and and then the ones whose kids have passed their 12th get back to them “she got 91% tumne padha hota tumhare aate “(She got 91% had you studied more you’d have got more marks ) Those whose kids are in 12th ask them to perform Better than you..really I never knew it was a challenge pop my marks.
And I really have started in believing the myth if you bite your cheek or tongue while eating ..someone abused you. I mean those neighbours who had nothing to do with me *pure saal pta nhi kaha pe the*( all around the year I don’t know where they were)
But as soon as they came to know I passed my 12 th
” aur beta kitne percentage ayi ?”
(And dear how much did you score ?)
I have to reply “91%” the reply I want to give ” secret 😂” .. lol it would really kill people with curiosity if all the twelfth pass outs start saying – my marks are a secret , mai nhi btaugi/ btauga( I won’t tell it to you ).
My parents weren’t ever the marks hungry kind putting pressure and all ,
I literally wrote poems before my economics board exam and recited them to my mother.
But now when I get the ‘relative’ counselling they go like – analytics and actuarial sciences have a lot scope you should try, I look at them like “hehe..okay “😅
And what I want to say to them
” Integration and cos beta alpha gamma sab ap solve kroge … mujhe toh nhi krna mujhe toh nhi pasand mai nhi krugi , analysis ice cream hai ..aise hi hojayega bass maths krlo ..pta hai maths me 50 layi hu mai uske lie kitne din padhna pada tha pta hai ..10 days pta hai paper phir bhi pta hai kaise aya aisa aya ki mujhe Laga ki pass hojau maths me toh ladoo batu..maths krlo aise kaise krlu nhi krni…nhi krugi integration ek trigonometry ati hai wo kisi ko nhi chahiye..mai kya chahti hu puchta nhi koi”(Will you solve all those cos alpha, beta ,gamma stuff the integration. I don’t want to do it , I don’t like it I won’t do it , analysis you talk like it’s ice cream it will happen just like that no hustle at all. do you know I scored a 50 on 100 in maths after studying for 10 days and expecting good grades after seeing the question paper,after that exam all that came to me was if I pass this one everyone’s getting sweets. I don’t like integration I can do trigonometry but no body wants it and what I want no one asks me about it ?)
I had decided I am going to tell Everyone I want to be a writer at some point in time .
The reactions I got were –
” :?, good But You should go for something that earns you good money, reputation in society ”
I really had left my dreams before I decided to face it
Some of the worlds greatest feats were accomplished by people not smart enough to know they were impossible.
And that my dreams aren’t impossible and that they are too big for those who can’t understand them to understand.
Then also my parents stand by me in my decisions that’s all the support I need and the fact that
I am not where I want to be is enough motivation ,
There’s a thing about my life it’s always a roller coaster ride with speed breakers no amusement park in this world can give you the experiences I have on daily basis.
Unlike all other 17 years old people I don’t have time to go for things that my friends do , spend time on instagram,.answer dumb questions on ask.fm. and follow news feed on FB . I have recently realised that I don’t even have time for people who are not worth my time because every bit of my time and my energy should be put on taking me one step closer to my goals each day. Excuses take me nowhere hard work and prioritizing takes me to my goals .
More over I have realised that as long as people think you’ve a dream they are challenging you at every point.
So I guess I won’t let go off these dreams because my life is not going to be about a 9-5 conventional job it’s going to be about studying the subjects I like, following my passions becoming a lawyer, a writer , a business women , a person who was able to rise above all the conventional stuff and become who she is .
I want to do a lot of stuff but it’s just that it sounds unrealistic to people.
But not to my parents .
The reason my best friend is my best friend is because we are not into the conventional stuff our dreams , our goals , our passion means the most
And we don’t see dreams for our own self but we dream a better society a better world ,and our role in the betterment .
Writing this blog makes me happy because every time I post something and you guys like it tell me in the comments sections your views on all the paintings and everything .
I feel another kind of mental peace which you get when you are on the right track.
I am sorry for not being able to post anything lately.
But that’s a page from my diary I wrote on a day when I was really hopeless I decided to go the conventional way and when i read this in a friend’s dp.
Honestly if everyone and everything was to go the conventional way why would I have dreams in the first place and dreaming is the easiest part I realised the hard part is to put those dreams together to have a vision.
And theres no fun getting it all the easy way what you get without hustle, will loose its value.
The people who can afford Lamborghini don’t have time to sit in front of the television screen to watch commercials.
Is one of the best quotes I ever read.
Because it makes so much sense to me at my age it’s very important to get practical as soon as you can or someone will take the lead, while I keep sitting with my fantasies.
The fact that I am writing this blog and getting support from so many people I feel good because at present the number of people who want to see me as a writer is increasing and the sound of
“You shouldn’t go for it ” is getting lowered every day
I won’t rest till I silence it.
Because the only person I need to approve of me is myself and the only person I need to prove myself to is ‘me’