Somewhere in all that they said,
I think I lost myself ,
My eyes which were wide open to dream
are now like blank spaces it seems .
Not that its hard for me ,
I just don’t know where to be ,
At this point of time ,
Its all in rhymes
Puzzled inside its so hard to find,
What I have lost in all that they said,
I think I lost myself .
My motivation became my strength,
I feel so weak I have no plans,
Nothing on my mind I am walking Hopeless,
No directions to walk in,
It all seems pointless,
I know I have in me,
To be where I want to be .
This is a poem I wrote when someone said
Your dreams are unrealistic you should start living in real world
I believe actions speak louder than words
I didn’t keep any private institute as my back up options neither for law nor for B.com because I believed that I will get through but after being told all that again and again I was too irritated(addy has witnessed an essay on it 😂)
I was told to fill in for B.A because they thought I just wanted the best university but not the course of my choice in it
But no it wanted it all as per me the way I had planned it except I figured out maths took a toll on me no Hansraj (because their Bcom( hon) counts maths in best four and my maths :'()
still I am in DU .. and in the course I want .
No back ups and when I didn’t get a college good enough in first cut off like south campus okay ..but no not my choice kind people said
You should have known ..been practical applied in more courses.
Lol no I am being completely practical and I am sure I will get a better college I did . Not a co-ed though but still one of the top five girl colleges of DU .
So I think I am in a good state and having answered their questions and removing doubts that back up and course changing is an option I felt it was the right time to publish this one.
Adjusting with any thing and having back ups makes you weaker in terms of making choices firm ones ..my parents have always been really supportive never questioning why ?
They stood by me infact when in my first cut off I got a not so good college but said
I think ..we should book a seat
Maa and Papa said ” I don’t think we should because you’ve set high standards this doesn’t fit ”
I really can’t describe I felt so happy ..
I don’t need anything else when I have my parents supporting me
My dad follows my blog my mom reads them on my id
Dad keeps telling me that line in that poem should have been something like .. I feel so good 🙈
And my best friend
This guy is so wise ..
He has been with me for 8 months I was really firm about my choices but whenever I felt weak he was there he kept telling me from time to time that you know back up gives you a comfort zone and no person has ever achieved anything being in a comfort zone.
I love him for being there all the time when I had my retina surgery on 13th June last month ( that’s why no posts for a long time and then that diary entry),2 nights before I said I wanted to meet he said he’ll try
I told him to try his best
You are scared I know but trust me kuch nhi hoga ,( trust me nothing will happen )
And I will try my best to clear my schedule( because he is a really busy person not the conventional 20 years old he does many things in a day a lot of work . And honestly I try avoiding coming between his schedules so i ask him in advance book an appointment you know 😂😂.
Because I know what doing all that work means to him <3.)
So next day he met for 45min ( because I had to go He was there for as long as I would have asked him )and in 15 mins and I have no worries about my surgery
I am laughing I am joking he’s joking I remember he said
You put so much strain on your eyes ..you shouldn’t Look at me itna zyada 😂😂
Crazy guy I remember him texting me in the morning “don’t worry every thing will be just fine”. the same day I gave him something I will share the pic of it with you guys later.
But really he is amazing
He keeps telling me to challenge my self ..he thinks I don’t know how amazing I am ( he over rates me )
And I can’t thank god enough for my parents and I can’t thank Him enough for being my best friend because he had a choice and also I thank you guys for your best wishes that means a lot .
Thank you so much .
I don’t doubt my self because