The girl next door(#32)

A question

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One day he asked her
” what’s your biggest fear ?”
She smiled and said
“There’ll be a day when you won’t care,
When that admiring gaze will become a blank stare.
When I’ll look back and won’t find you there,
When I’ll want to come but you won’t want me here.
There’ll be a day when you won’t care
When you’ll let go, because amidst all this ,
You’ll finally loose grip.
When you’ll give up
and it’ll be you and I left,
Of what once was us.
There’ll be a day when you won’t care..”
He looked at her smiling and asked ” Is that all?”
“You won’t be there someday to catch me as I fall,
I won’t trust you , you won’t want me to at all.
When I’ll belittle myself you’ll agree,
And not be angry like you used to be.
When I’ll get upset or maybe cry,
And You won’t be there to make it better, to make me smile
I fear you won’t even try.
When all those promises,
Will be words written together in lines.
That have lost their meaning over the time.
When you’ll misplace me,
And then replace me.
And maybe ..”
“And maybe ?”
” And maybe my fears are very close to our reality,
But I’ll be fine, because I knew that’s how it’ll be.
There’ll be a day when you won’t care, when that admiring gaze will become a blank stare.”

There’s a pattern that is common when it comes to end –

First leaves trust
Then follows love and
Finally the last force holding you back also shatters – and that’s called hope
Then what’s left is
You and I
From what they once called “Us“.
Does it hurt , well ask your heart don’t you still miss that one who taught you to love –
Could you look in his eyes when you said you wanted him to go?
If you walk the same roads that you did with him – doesn’t each and every detail of your time with him,what he said, what you saw come back to you?
Doesn’t it make you smile ? that tear from the end of your eyelash sparkles just before it falls for him all over again just the way you do. This time with his memories.
If only he returns , you and I we both know you’ll put up that stone face. Wear a facade – that you don’t love him anymore but the truth is “I’m over him” remains just a consoling statement to your mind, but your aching heart never gives in.
Don’t you search for him in everyone?
That remark – silly girl
– You’re a kid
That feeling as you recall his – I’ll stay here , you can come back anytime or not if you don’t want to.
Your practicality – you never believed him, you didn’t want to get hurt , you didn’t trust him but you and I we both know that’s what you chose as a defence mechanism.
Deep down – you miss him, you’ll always do.
But if only life was that easy.
If only you could tell him that there are a billion fears that won’t let you give in may be ever.
But you and I we both know you’ll not say anything , because somethings are better unsaid.
So yeah.
©Samridhi Dutta

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Author:

I am a person with the most self contradicting personality -shy till I don't know you.quiet till you are a stranger.impulsive.dreamer. I don't talk much to express myself I would rather write,draw ,paint or sketch . Mammas girl( and proud of that). there's not anything thing fancy about me.

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