The girl next door (#44)

Silence


 What does my silence do to you ? 

Was the question I always wanted to ask him,

For somehow  he wanted to draw words,sentences 

and stories from my end.

To listen to my voice,even though I didn’t make sense 

Most of the time.

He’d stand there gazing at me,a silent admiring gaze.

I’d go on speaking for hours,

He’d go on listening.

But if I stopped talking , if I didn’t utter those absurd things,

If I didn’t speak,if he didn’t get my voice in his ears, is when

He spoke – “say something?”.

Even though I don’t sing like Britney Spears,

He wants me to sing for him.

The last time I sang for him was on his birthday ;

Barely audible, He stood right next to me smiling and laughing ,

Gazing at me as I couldn’t sing ,

But was doing a Robotic recital of ‘happy birthday to you’.

Earlier if I wanted to say something I’d walk right up to him, tell him.

Give him a call,or text him.

I’ve stopped doing that, 

Assumed silence.

My stories brewing up inside me,

Like coffee, the froth reaching to the brim 

And then the very thought – he wouldn’t have enough time ,

Stirring in me.

I leave the stories wrapped in pages.

Sit down for a cup of coffee, froth reaching the 

Brim makes me smile,wondering 

How I learnt building dams?,

To hold my stories and emotions.

And how with every phone call of his, I fear will come a flood.

Just as I’m thinking ,the phone rings its him.

‘Silence’ a small word , 

Makes a big difference.

I live with it , He deals with it.


Both the  situations are equally bad to be in.

Every sentence of his,

Though no words match says – I’ll make it better,  It’s going to be over ,But please -don’t be silent.

“ Say something ?” he’d say after every few sentences he spoke.

“ NOTHING” my reply.

‘Silence’ produces a loud noise ,loud enough 

To make everything else inaudible.

He fears my ‘Silence’,

He despises it ,

Because he knows what silence does to me .

He knows how much I love to share,

But assuming ‘Silence’, I get engulfed in the overflowing 

River of my thoughts and feelings.

Nearly drowning ,in my attempts to entrap them building a dam.

And he knows my’ Silence’,

And how I wish I knew what it does to him,that he hates it.

But I never ask ,

I’ve never asked ,

I’ll never ask.

I’ll probably just write about it.

Samridhi Dutta ( © Samridhi Dutta)

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Author:

I am a person with the most self contradicting personality -shy till I don't know you.quiet till you are a stranger.impulsive.dreamer. I don't talk much to express myself I would rather write,draw ,paint or sketch . Mammas girl( and proud of that). there's not anything thing fancy about me.

12 thoughts on “The girl next door (#44)

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