The girl next door (#54)

Like you never left

And there’s so much I want to forget ,

From the time when I used to come back home smiling , 

With the time we spent together playing like a movie on loop, it is still there in my head. 

A movie paused at your shyly smiling face, the last good memory I have of us is stuck. Still in my head.

 It’s like you never left

Your cologne , I still remember how that fragrance would follow me back home. Encircling me.

 It’s like you never left.

Your arms around me , my safe house your embrace.

The whisper in my ear , with me in your arms, still audible.

It’s like you never left.

My hand in yours as we walk in the the crowded streets , 

You holding my bag as I ran out to play in the rain.

Petrichor , brings it all back.

It’s like you never left.

Resting my head on your shoulder as you sat beside me ,

A temporary cure to my tear and breaks,

As your shoulder would share the weight,

I miss you ,

Every now and then when my head feels heavy because of the war in there,

It’s like you never left.

Even when you broke that heart,

Even when you broke those promises,

Every minute I spent standing  under the shower  trying to wash away your embrace , 

The feeling of your hand holding mine . I helplessly rubbed my hands against each other trying to get rid of it , 

Screaming at the top of my voice to silence your whispers ,

 Scared to brush my hand against yours  it might just be thought of as dropping hints,

Even when I knew you were lying, believing in it more than the truth that I already knew ,

I stayed. 

Forgiving you for the nights I slept with tears , still fresh.
And yet again , as my tears rolled down.
My existence was a question unanswered.
My worth , a value too inadequate for your affection and attention but just a matter of a few apologises.

When I took a leave , I left the last part of me that ever felt for you on that staircase.

I stayed through it all but , alas I was exhausted.

Looks like I’m not over it yet, 

You’re no where to be seen, but you’re still whispering, those sweet nothings ,

I feel nothing ,

 But a sight of you and the hollow in my chest is ice cold, my breath is all sighs, cold sighs. 

Tongue tied. Why are you here? What’s left to break ? – Hi how are you, long time ? 

I don’t love you, in my heart you hold   no place.

First love is insane, so is first heart break.

But I never wait for the phone to ring twice , when you call. Can’t help but reply when you text.

It’s like You never left.
©Samridhi Dutta.

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Author:

I am a person with the most self contradicting personality -shy till I don't know you.quiet till you are a stranger.impulsive.dreamer. I don't talk much to express myself I would rather write,draw ,paint or sketch . Mammas girl( and proud of that). there's not anything thing fancy about me.

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