The girl next door (#53)

Wake up 

And if for once I can go to bed without thinking about what is that I need to ideally do the next morning.  

I’ll wake up as someone I’d love to be.

I’ll wake up as me ,

 as someone out of the rat race looking for a muse .

 as someone who doesn’t need to make 3a.m calls .

I want the peace that only imperfection can provide, because perfection is a constant struggle to attain a state that has no existence because to “Err is human” . 

I’m not a people pleaser but still a big chunk of my action awaits their approval.

 In my head I’m leashed ,Even if in my expression I’m free. 

There’s always a constant struggle , as to who and what I should I ideally be.

The quotes about well behaved women and their unacommplishments , in the words of the most accomplished women of my time.

Make me wonder if I’m working on myself in the wrong direction. What if trying to be how I should  ideally be ?Isn’t the way things should be.

If for once I can go to bed not thinking about what I should ideally do the next morning , I’d wake up as some one I’d love to be.

©Samridhi Dutta

The girl next door (#52) 

Not forever

Nothing’s going to last forever,

Neither you nor me.

Forever is a long time, 

And I don’t think I’ll spend it by your side.

My love isn’t permanent, I’m sorry to say but it’ll fade someday.

And That’s absolutely okay ,

Things aren’t always supposed to stay.

And that’s how it is 

In our case.

©Samridhi Dutta

The girl next door (#51)

The Devil

There’s not a single day that went by, 

When I didn’t ponder upon what we did wrong.

We were just two third graders of about 7 to be precised.

I always feared his eyes, but she always said he was nice.

He became her friend, would tell her funny things. 

He always made her laugh,

Until one day he moved his hand all over her and touched her in all wrong places.

She cried, as I watched from the second last seat of the bus

I couldn’t watch anymore, scared I curled up.

Hoping I’d soon get home, 

 She got down before me,He told her it was all just for ‘fun’

Now it was my turn.

I could see it in those eyes, his thoughts that ran wild

I could see in his sly smile, he was up to  something that wasn’t right.

It was 3 in the afternoon, time for me to get back home.

I a child of 7 with two animals on board, 

One says ” let’s take her home”.

 I couldn’t help but cry ,

“I don’t want to go with you  , I want to go home”, as he turned the bus the other way.

I started crying and screaming ” that’s not the way to my home” I said, 

“I want to go home , I don’t know anything” 

He looked at me and laughed ” Whatever happened ,you’ll never speak of it. Only then shall we take you home “

His bloodshot eyes, 

A devil in human form,

Preying on little girls in uniform ,

” I won’t, I won’t.” I instantly agreed all I wanted was to be home. 

I went home scared , 

I had decided on not going to school ever again.

It took my mother one whole day to make me answer the usual ” how was your day ?”

I’d just start crying because of the haunting incidents , I was really scared.

At night when it was time to sleep , half awake I was asked again the same thing this time like – What happened beta , some one said something wrong to you at school today , did you get scolded tell me about it   ?

I told her everything from start to end with all my courage,

And in the end I told her – why I didn’t tell her all of this before ?

“Maa, he said he’ll take me home now if he comes to know I told you all of it . What would I do when takes me with him”

She hugged me so tight and with tears in her eyes , she told me to sleep with no worries ,as no one can take me anywhere.

The next day she woke me up at the usual 5:30 am dressed me up for school but I didn’t take the bus,

I’d be going there with my parents.

We went to the Principal’s room , I remember narrating the whole incident to everyone with my mother holding my hand.

The two got fired, towards the end of the year I changed my school.

It took me a very long time,

Almost a decade.

To finally believe that ,

Not all men are him , some are raised human.
©- Samridhi Dutta










The girl 

​The Girl 

The most beautiful girl I saw didn’t have make up on. The best accessory she has is her smile. You wonder how much more brightened up can the festival of light get but when she arrives you think to yourself “So much more!”. She’s magic, she’s a beautiful spell. Walking through the world she dispels darkness all around atleast for me. A secret she’s not aware of maybe someday she’ll be. All her jokes make me laugh however bad they are i don’t know why. Drunk snake becomes a classic and i hide my happiness under the sarcastic haha. I don’t know when she’ll understand what i want her to and when she’ll see herself and the world like i want her to. She’s the best muse an artist can have and she’s the best friend i can. The most beautiful girl should never have make up on .

By – Vivek Mani 

For a while now I had been thinking I should put this up . This is written by my best friend for me , and it’s totally one of the best things .Because no body has ever written anything for me before this. 

I’m so glad to have you , you idiot.


The girl next door (#50)

 A letter to my  mentor , a very dear friend, and one of the best humans I know to be existing. She wouldn’t be very much expecting this but then I’d love to surprise her with this one.

Dear Medha di, 

If I was a guy I’d fall in love with you at first sight after our first conversation, and not tell you because you’re a psychologist you’d know anyway. 

So I’m so glad to have shifted places , because otherwise I’d not have had you as my neighbor. 

You are someone who never ever judges , just a doorbell away. Ting- Tong you let me in. Make amazing coffee for me, and then we chat for hours at an end. You don’t judge  and I share so much in common with you. It’s like you’re a mirror image of what I’ll be like when I’m your age. None of us is perfect and I don’t need to thrive for perfection but for improvement is the most important lesson I learnt from you, I shall fall in love with my self which is the easiest thing in the world to do if people go by what you say. 

The beginning of my journey within started with you opening the doors the day we first talked about chakra healing. The power within shall be unleashed but I need to channelize it. That was when my spiritual journey began. Spiritual journey as I understood isn’t about searching for god, it’s about you figuring out who you are , responding to situations realising that neither external beings possess the power to make you happy nor do they possess the power to make you feel bad , every state is created by us if anyone has studied Buddhist texts they define clearly the state’s in the 10 realms when you begin your journey you need to know where you stand as a being and how much you need to improve to rise from that state ( she didn’t tell me to read I did my self but she was happy seeing me work on this front because I wasn’t into it and it gave me lots of peace to read these texts among all other books I’ve got) . As you very well know I don’t believe in confining myself to a particular religion or practice and am actually interested in studying all of them so for me, your being able  to  understand with my ideas and words being so fragmented was great. I’ve started being more clear since I started knowing myself better. I’m less confused some times I’m sad but then I talk to you, you tell me something great and I contemplate and it’s amazing.

Just today after our workshop when I sat down telling you about my broken heart and how I hold myself responsible and somehow while I say I’ve let go somewhere there’s still something  that hurts and some more toxic  people I recently came across.

How you held my hand, asked aunty for two minutes and told me all that you did.I swear I’ve been feeling much better.

You do magic. Thank you for being the person you are.

I don’t know if I’m going a little too far with the flow.

 I love you, thank you ❤🎈 

Yours Samridhi.

Medha di cuddling Scott🙈 , I tell you Scott loves her so much.
This is Medha di and the cat is Imli , Medha di’s pet.😻

P.s. – she’s been for some time now doing workshops on mind healing, and they are amazing.

You know I don’t lie so for people in N.C.R who are willing to give it a shot , can mail me – in the contact me. I’ll definitely update you guys when she is going to take another one. You can also repost this and let your friends know.  Specially psychology students.

She talks “Mind” literally. You’d really love her. But she’s mine.🙈

The girl next door (#49)

Valentine

I don’t know if it’s love or  what ever
You already have a piece of my heart,

And I don’t want it back ,

There’s no fun in that.

Give me something new,

That belongs to you.

A piece of your heart ,

A promise never to part.

If you don’t fall for me,  

At least fall with me , 

If you don’t fall with me , 

At least catch me , 

If you don’t catch me, 

At least give me your hand,

C’mon help me stand. 

When you’ll be gone,

I’ll feel so Alone.

Don’t forget me please,

10 years down the line,

BE MY VALENTINE?.

©Samridhi Dutta

p.s- my parents have their anniversary on Valentine’s day so I didn’t find time to write,I was busy celebrating ❤🎈.

The girl next door (#48)

 The door 

I was thinking if I ever wrote a sequel , to the story I left incomplete. 

How would it end?, would the end be happy or would it be sad ?.

Then I realise the end I’m talking about the one that I wish we had, so there was no hanging to the hopes – it’ll get better, there was no consoling ourselves – it’s just  A bad phase , it’ll pass. 

I realise that very END stands knocking at the door, unlike opportunity it doesn’t mind knocking twice.

But my promise to you ” I’ll never leave,no matter what ” is holding me back , even when quite evidently nothing’s left.

Do me a favor ? Would you ? 

Please get the door for me. 

© Samridhi Dutta.